I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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