Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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