Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
