And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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