Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
