please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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