I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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