i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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