Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize