The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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