i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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