I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize