There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize