FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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