Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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