Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
