He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
