I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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