hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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