i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
