I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
COCAINE IS GR8
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
