you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
