I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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