How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
