My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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