I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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