Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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