She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
