I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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