I want to make a zoo with you.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
