just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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