I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
