I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
