it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
