Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
