I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
is it fun? or sober?
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