We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
