but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
