Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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