the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I need water and some morals
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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