Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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