we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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