Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
