just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
