Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize