yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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