just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
