i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize