Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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