do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
