She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
