I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
