i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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