it was like eating out sand paper
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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