I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
