Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He has the fingertips of a God
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