I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
