No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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