just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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