i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize