New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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