If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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