He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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